The Five Fraternities: An Investigative Report into the Exclusive Dutch Societies

Part 1 - Initiation

December 7th, 2022

We sent our boy, our man, our very own Gonzo journalist, David Van Der Linde to investigate the most mysterious sect of youth society in our fair city: Dutch Frats. This is the first instalment of a three part report.

To the naked eye it seems like a harmless and easy going period of time, but my contact says otherwise

I have many contacts that have attempted to join the exclusive fraternities, and some even reaching the top of the food chain within these elitist societies all around the Netherlands. Because of this, I thought that it would be a walk in the park to look into these secretive groups: once I actually set out to investigate them, I was only welcomed by passive aggressive texts and flaky blondes.

I recall reaching out to one of my close informants and asking a few sets of questions without revealing my true intentions. I thought by going covert it would lower the barriers of entry, instead, it only led to him heightening his defence protocols like I was a prisoner escaping a war gulag. The individual – who shall remain confidential – told me he did not appreciate my investigative efforts. This kind of dead end happened all too often and I was starting to think that I was not going to be able to gain any evidence. But being the stubborn and determined Capricorn I am, I did not want to give up. Luckily through my espionage efforts and further informant recruitment, I was finally able to break through and gain intel into the frat organisations.

Intel 1 – The Initiation

One of the contacts that I acquired was someone straight from the top – for the safety of this individual their identity also remains confidential. After attempting to gain the trust of this informant for about two weeks, the individual was ready to speak. He spoke of an initiation phase. In the beginning of the introduction week, any fresh blood is welcome to the day-long lines to sign up to any fraternity.

If they manage to get through their patience, they can sign their names into the house they want to be a part of. By signing this contract the fresh blood have agreed to stay in that particular house for the rest of the introduction week under their rules. Whilst in their stay, the certified members of the fraternities organise parties and events for the fresh blood. To the naked eye it seems like a harmless and easy going period of time, but my contact says otherwise.

In this period, the Capos are already filtering down the people they want to see be part of the exclusive society. The fresh bloods have to do their best to make an impression on these people, either through sheer familial wealth and sociability or their ability to drink the golden water. The 40% that have successfully impressed the Capos within the fraternities will be invited to the next phase of initiation. The rest will be asked to leave and are left for the streets. It is an organisation that breathes the Darwinist ideology, survival of the fittest.

After grilling him a little further he spurted out one event that has haunted him

The chosen ones are then sent back home with a packing list to prepare for the hazing period. After preparing, they return to the frat house and begin their 2 weeks of hazing. It starts with a trek 10-20 kilometres out of the city where they will eventually come across a camp acting as their home for the next week. In this week the fresh blood is bitched around and yelled at by the older frats. I asked my informant to go into detail about the activities but he detoured around my questions. However, after grilling him a little further he spurted out one event that has haunted him. The informant mentions that he and the other fresh bloods were sleeping in a barn, in the middle of the night the Capos barged in and started to hose high pressure water towards the sleeping area. They were left with wet clothes, sleeping bags and had to freeze through the night only to continue more gruelling activities the next day.

In the second week, the fresh blood returns to the houses where they are exposed to various drunken activities. Drinking beer from syringes the length of an arm, placing sticky notes of their insecurities on their naked body in the middle of the street, being forced to down a bottle of vodka only to be thrown into the woods with the task to return home without any mobile devices. The constant ridicule and ostracization continues and the fresh blood needs to prevail if they want to make it. Again, my informant did not get into great detail as his experience might blow his cover.

However he did mention that after these two weeks of hell, the fresh bloods are inaugurated and they are officially frats, but he emphasised that it only truly begins after that.

To be continued…