Sexy Thriller Exploring The Male Gaze? Not really: A Review of Babygirl (2024)
"Delicious. Spiky, sexy, and daring,” coined by The New York Times and also quoted in the trailer of the movie Babygirl (2024). When Babygirl premiered globally at the start of this year, it garnered a significant amount of buzz online. Ever since the movie received a seven-minute standing ovation during the Venice Film Festival in late August, I had been intrigued by the film's premise; a married high-profile woman starts having an affair with her much younger intern while putting her personal and professional life at stake. Moreover, on the film’s poster, “Get exactly what you want”, is written in bold writing. Sounds pretty exciting, right?
Following the movie’s premiere in early January, a stream of articles and essays were released. Dutch newspapers, in particular, were obsessed with Dutch director Halina Reijn, who skyrocketed into international stardom following the movie's success in the Anglosphere, leaving behind the small, confined bubble of the Dutch film industry. If not writing about Reijn, the majority of newspapers and magazines reflect on the feminist aspect of the movie since the movie was said to be subversive, empowering, and very sexy.
However, after the screening, I was left wondering about the often-quoted “subversiveness”-- which is why I decided to look on Reddit because that’s where the real film critics are. According to some Redditors, I have not been able to understand the depth and the many layers of the story that Reijn is trying to tell, prompting me to dive deeper into the film. Finally, despite my feelings regarding this film, I found it superficial, not sexy or empowering at all, and most of all, it did not deliver on what the film’s poster and trailer promised (“Get exactly what you want”), I did manage to come to view Babygirl as a film that explores the workings of the male gaze, though the movie does not do a great job subverting the internalization of it.
In Babygirl, Girl boss CEO Romy (Nicole Kidman) starts having an affair with intern Samuel (Harris Dickinson) who is significantly younger than her. Romy is married to a loving husband, has two daughters, and is affluent and beautiful - she is living a life many dream of. Yet, she is unhappy. In the opening scene, we discover that her husband is unable to make her have an orgasm, instead, she fakes one, and she has to resort to watching daddy porn in another room while her husband sleeps. The opening scene comes off strong, it instantly catches your attention, and expectations are set. Nicole Kidman masterfully plays a woman who is performing in the bedroom. Yet, as Romy’s story unfolded bit by bit, I ended up feeling disappointed. Romy puts her career, public image, and marriage at stake to pursue a sexual affair with Samuel, which sounds thrilling. Finally, she can explore her sexual desires. Samuel just gets her. Romy wants to serve and be commanded, rather than be in control. She wants to be seen by a man and be called beautiful, despite her aging body. At the inevitable climax of the movie, her husband finds out. Drama ensues, but by the end, all seems well: Samuel moves to Tokyo, Romy keeps her job and stays married to her husband, AND, by the end of the film, her husband can make her come - the climax is a climax. It’s just so peak, right?
Indeed, Babygirl’s final scene mirrors its opening scene beautifully - this time Romy is able to come, but only by fantasizing. The film cuts to a shot of Samuel and a dog in a hotel room, referencing Romy’s and Samuel’s past explorations into sex, desire, and kink, in which Samuel and Romy meet up in a hotel room to explore their sexual desires. Samuel orders Romy to crawl on the floor like a dog and to eat from his hand, after which he fingers her and she is finally able to come. Romy moans, loudly, growling as if she were a dog. After years of unfulfilling sex and being unable to verbalize her fantasies, a man made her come.
Later on, when they meet at a more luxurious hotel that’s been picked by Romy, Samuel orders Romy to undress, but she breaks down when naked, as she does not feel pretty. Samuel responds by calling her “his babygirl”. This scene is interesting, not because I think it’s exceptionally sexy, but because here, more than in any other part of the movie, Romy’s sense of shame in regards to her own body is highlighted, while she is being perceived by Samuel, a man. Beauty and shame come to be deeply intertwined with the male gaze. It is through Romy’s character that Reijn explores the workings of the internalization of the male gaze.
The many shots of Romy taking business calls, working on Excel sheets, and filming a commercial all appear to emphasize Romy’s character as a powerful businesswoman who is always in control, which contrasts her desire to not dominate. Despite working actively towards freeing ourselves and society from patriarchal structures that continue to uphold the male gaze, we also continue to be influenced by it; this duality is what Reijn seeks to highlight with Romy’s characterization in the film, one does not necessarily exclude the other.
When Romy finally has an orgasm, her movements and sounds are not polished and “sexy” in the way that female sexual ecstasy is often presented, instead she growls. Perhaps an attempt to subvert the classic to-be-looked-at-ness of women in Hollywood films on Reijn’s part, by portraying female orgasms in a way that feels more realistic. Moreover, in an interview, Reijn states that she wishes to go "beyond shame without shame" with her film. Romy finds sexual fulfillment by not being in power, and by the end of the film, she is able to move beyond this sense of shame in her relationship with her husband, though she still fantasizes about Samuel while having sex with her husband.
Did Romy really get what she wanted? Her husband is still unable to join her in her BDSM power play fantasies, although he arguably understands her a bit better now, the question remains: how sexually fulfilled is Romy really by the end of the film? Romy seemed to have been haunted by her sexual fantasies for most of her life and when engaging in a power play with her intern, it almost came to destroy her family and her career. Indeed, Samuel reminds her several times in the film that he has the power to destroy Romy’s life - which is exactly what gets Romy off. Still, Romy is somewhat able to move past a feeling of shame that kept her from being able to express her desires to her husband.
Here is my (perhaps not so) hot take: Babygirl was not very sexy. Romy’s and Samuel’s age difference is not hot and their professional positions make their affair even more uncomfortable. That’s the point, I know. The sex scenes are not that thrilling and more meant to highlight Romy’s struggles with her sexual fantasies as a woman, this is not a porn-with-plot-esque film like the Fifty Shades series. At the same time, I wonder if Babygirl may end up stigmatizing kink more. When Romy attempts to explain her feelings to her husband she states that there needs to be some “actual danger”, something real has to be at stake: which is an alarming message in a film that flirts with BDSM and kink: what about safety and trust? Consent and abuse arguably thread a fine line in Babygirl.
Although Babygirl brings up the interconnectedness of beauty, shame, and the male gaze that continue to shape the experiences of women, it is not exactly sexy or subversive, but it’s a start. There’s no doubt that we need more stories about female desire and the sexual liberation of women in Hollywood and Babygirlis enjoyable to watch. Perhaps I just didn’t get the message, but to me, watching Babygirl while expecting to be blown away, felt like eating a chocolate that you expected to be filled with something nice and tasty, but it ended up being filled with just chocolate instead. Did I get what I wanted? No, not exactly.
