I Became an Artist Through These Three Easy Steps - And You Can Too!
Thumbnail by @_bakicb_ on Instagram
I’m nearing the halfway point of my bachelor’s degree, which means that I’m at least three times wiser than I was in September of last year. Of course, as a byproduct of this newfound wisdom, I’m spending a lot of time wondering things like: what is the point? how many irreparable mistakes have I made in my life so far? why does doing the dishes feel like the hardest thing in the world before you start, and then you do them and realize it was not a big deal in the first place, but that doesn’t make it any easier to start next time??? And of course, the fabled: who am I? Who am I? I’ve spent days wondering, and I think I finally know. Daughter, friend, student, Balkan, disembodied wall of text - maybe, sure. But before all of that: artist.
You might be wondering what my credentials are, and I hear you, reader. Skepticism is healthy. You want to see my portfolio. However, in these long and eventful twenty years of life, trust that I’ve learned the ins and outs of being an artist. How? At some point, I reached inwards and found within myself that title - and the rest was history.
Because I’m no wisdom-hog, in this article, I will pass the ancient knowledge onto you. It takes only three steps, after all.
Scour the vast gallery of your past. Remember the very first time you drew a circle with lines sticking out of it and titled it “Dad”? That’s where it all began. It’s only right to return to it in the hunt for that artist who has always resided within you. During winter break, when you go home (which you make sure to call your childhood home in conversation, to account for the whole year and a half you’ve spent away), don’t forget to search the basement for any artifacts of your early years. Examine everything from the Deformed Horse Phase to the Anime Period - just to conclude that yes, your parents were right when they called you their-little-Picasso-minus-any-part-of-his-personal-life. Your stickmen have always had better anatomy than the other kids’.
Make frequent callbacks to how much you used to create. Now, you might be thinking to yourself: but Milica, how would this topic ever organically come up in conversation? Don’t even worry about it. In case you’re not sure how to segue from that exam you have on Thursday to the fruitfulness of your work, I’m here to help - with some personal examples. Feel free to alter these according to your own artistic sensibilities.
In a way, I guess you could say studying is an art. Learning how to learn is an art. While we’re on the topic, I actually used to take art classes! Yeah, like drawing. Painting, even. Crazy, right? Even had an exhibit once. No, no, you wouldn’t know where haha. Quite an obscure place. I bet you’ve never even heard of my hometown, so there’s really no point in me saying the name of the place either!!! Haha.
Haha yeah, this exam has me stressed too. Well, it’s not the exam itself. It’s the passage of time, man. It’s just crazy how someone can dedicate their whole life to doing something they choose to study at the age of, like, eighteen, right? Life is too unpredictable for that. For example, did you know I used to do ballet? Yeah, I did it for eight years. EIGHT. YEARS. I still wonder where I would be if I hadn’t stopped. Maybe I wouldn’t be studying statistics right now, hahaha. Did you know that people still argue about whether ballet is an art or a sport?
So weird how people write all these books and then we have to study from them, haha. I guess I’m a bit of a writer myself-
See? Easy. Smooth.
However, should you follow my advice (and you should), exercise caution when bringing up the complex musings of times past. Don’t worry, there is only one rule you have to follow: just never mention the when of it all. After all, creation is timeless - what’s the point in stating that you were thirteen the last time you doodled something other than an eye, or wrote something other than an essay about your summer break (and ended it on ‘and it was all a dream’, you subversive beast)? After all, these are just minute details in the grand scheme of life, and you’re out here painting the bigger picture!
3. Develop intricate plans about all the art you are going to do. Your creative mind will make this a breeze. Simply wait until 2AM to open your Notes app in a fit of raw introspection and title your work ‘ideas’. Then write nothing inside. Spend hours looking up classes. What kinds of classes? Any kind. Here are some more personal examples to help optimize your search: pottery class, ceramics class, ballet for adults, art class, how old for professional ballet, guitar lessons adults, can you do ballet with flat feet. (Again, feel free to customize these accordingly.) Determine that there is not enough time and that it’s too expensive and that your feet are too flat and that the greats were all self-taught anyway. Do not look up if they actually were. Buy a sketchbook and forget that you bought it. Watch movies and think about how you would have directed them better. Read books and think about how you would have written them better. Forget to develop the film in your point-and-shoot for a minimum of two years. Finally - and most importantly - when friends ask you what you’re up to, tell them that you’ve got big things planned. Make sure to always use the phrase big things for optimal results! It never gets old.
And that’s it! Seriously. Now you too can be an artist, and you won’t have to wonder who you are ever again! Phew.
Best part? You didn’t have to learn any of it yourself! I did all the heavy lifting for you, and in fact, it was my pleasure to do so. See? I told you it was easy. So easy, actually, that I’ve been doing it for most of my life. Now, you could read way too much into this and say something about how that must mean I’m clinging to the past, how I’m unmotivated, idealistic, too much of a perfectionist to start now that I’d have to be competing with other adults and not six-year-olds, et cetera. You might even mention - but this is so nitpicky - that I didn’t even show you my portfolio. That would be ungrateful and rude of you.
Instead, tune in next time, and I’ll teach you how to become a film critic when the last time you watched a film was in 2018!
