GVB Satisfyer Pro: Why Are Some Metro Stations Playing Music, and Who Chooses It?

Illustrated by Aino

December 19th, 2022

As my NS train pulls away to wherever it is going, I wonder... who was it that threw this music into my life? Who makes the underground playlists that graced my headphone-less ears in the metro stations today?

Standing below street level on the metro platform of the Weesperplein station, I tune into a calming classical symphony streaming out of the tinny speakers overhead. Normally I’d be wearing my headphones but I forgot them today. The music is making me feel ready for the day, satiated with what I will probably get done, and content. I step into the carriage and rattle towards Central Station. As I step back out, I feel a pep in my step to the rhythm of some sort of funk track; this metro station’s sound system boasts slightly better quality.

I feel great, I feel immensely happy and very much like I exist in the world. I step suspiciously onto the escalator (they’re always up to something) and leave the rhythm behind. As my NS train pulls away to wherever it is going, I wonder... who was it that threw this music into my life? Who makes the underground playlists that graced my headphone-less ears in the metro stations today?

That day was months and months ago. I have pondered the question extremely regularly since. I thought the mystery excited me, but when a good friend recently pointed out that the answer is probably accessible somewhere, I realised my excitement was actually frustration. Using his Twitter account, I decided to get to the bottom of it.

The kind customer service at the GVB responded very promptly to my enthusiastic direct message with an equally enthusiastic response. They asked for my email address and phone number, with all the seriousness and urgency that the request deserved, to ensure contact would not be lost once their colleague had provided the sought after answer.

They also don’t trust Twitter anymore.

As per their email and one missed call, Tycho from the GVB (who ‘would have liked to speak to [me] personally about this case, but unfortunately [he] was unable to reach [me] by phone’) told me that they contract in a company called Gallery Play Media who make the playlists ‘with great care and attention’. Apparently, ‘most people are satisfied with’ the mixes that Gallery Play Media creates, but contracting out in this way does mean that the GVB doesn’t ‘have a DJ or person who selects and plays nice tunes every day’.

A further interesting tidbit which excited me greatly is that the same playlist is playing simultaneously at each of the ‘5 stations where music is playing’.Getting these answers was quite emotional for me. I was finally saved from my constant wondering, but at the same time I had held a secret hope that each metro station had their own personality, that the music was curated depending on whoever had grabbed control of the aux that shift, and that, in the end, it was more random and nuanced than a carefully constructed playlist aiming to ‘satisfy’ ‘most people’ on the metro station platforms.

At the same time, my communication with the GVB has left me with more questions. Which ‘5 stations’? Why only five? How do they know that ‘most people are satisfied’ and, also, am I now considered ‘most people’? (I thought I was special...) I have decided I do not want to answer anymore questions about the music of the metro stations. If you wish, you can easily direct message the GVB on Twitter. They are very kind and helpful. But please, do not tell me what you find out.

I want to keep some of the mystery alive on my musical metro commutes. Also, stop wearing headphones all the time.